OK, time for me to speak up.
Something you don't know about us. When we started this journey, we started not with WHFC, but with another agency. We sent in our registration, paid our first fee, and I think we even completed the application. Our social worker called us to set up the first visit. A few questions came up during our initial conversation. She was super sweet, and our reason for changing agencies actually had nothing to do with her. But, I did have a few questions that I needed some clarity on. So, the next morning, I called the agency and spoke to the "woman in charge." I asked her a question, and to put it bluntly, she wouldn't answer me. She said she would tell me when we were further along in our process. RED FLAG! I knew right then and there....we gotta run.
I wish more people did. I wish more families did their homework. Did we choose the "cheapest" agency? Absolutely not! Did we choose the agency that would give us the quickest referral? Nope for that one too! Did we choose an agency that had a long standing and ethical relationship in Ethiopia? Absolutely! Did we choose an agency that would be vigilant, take the extra time and do due dilgence to confirm that the birth family understood what this adoption would mean? YES! Will they allow birth family visits AND allow us to video the visit? YES and YES! They don't have anything to hide from the adoptive families.
I am frustrated by what I read. Sometimes, it actually scares me. Please, please, do your homework! Do your own information search. Talk to other families. The yahoo groups are a great resource if you choose to use them. Reach out to families who are in process and have already adopted, and really listen to what they have to say.
I read a story on the yahoo group, about an agency, I will call "D". I don't know much about them, but her story was horrific. I was blown away, actually. I almost cried for her. Listen to the stories. Talk to the familes. Ask questions. Please.
I know, I am preaching to the choir here.
Accra Time
The Art of French Chic in Children’s Fashion
2 years ago
I'm so glad you shared this, Amy. If only more people would note the red flags and run away. We were lucky that we were steered toward WHFC by several home study agencies that we looked into. We really did not do much research, and I realize that we totally lucked out. People need to not be afraid to change agencies if necessary. It is so much more important to work with an ethical agency than to "waste" time and an application fee here or there. Thanks for speaking up!
ReplyDeleteKeep preaching!! Hopefully it will reach someone who need to hear it!!
ReplyDeleteI feel extremely lucky that I ended up working with Wide Horizons, I did some research but it wasn't until I was already well into the process that I started to realize the questions I should have asked at the beginning! And the more I read about other people's stories, the more sure I felt that I had chosen a really good and ethical agency.
ReplyDeleteHi! I sent an email earlier, but I guess you didn't get it! Hope the one I sent today went through. I can make those changes- just send $5 and your blog username and password.
ReplyDeleteI got your payment- thank you! Made the changes and you are all set :)
ReplyDeleteHi Amy, thank you so much for sharing your story. I know you feel you are "preaching to the choir," but it's still so important to share your experience and maybe one person will stumble by this blog and think twice about the agency they are considering. It's just so...important to be well-informed when choosing an ethical agency. I am so thankful we chose WHFC. Wonderful post.
ReplyDeleteI'm so thankful we chose WHFC, too. At the beginning I was so naive, I had no idea the things that could go wrong with adoption or the questions I should ask to insure an agency was ethical. I agree with Meg, this post could let similarly naive people know that they can and should question their agencies, that licensing doesn't necessarily guarantee and smooth process for anyone involved. Thank you for this post!
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