Changes and Stages

Last week, I gave my notice at my current job and accepted a position back where I used to work.  It wasn't the easiest decision, but I feel strongly that it is the right decision for my family, and for me.  You see, in my current role, I travel quite a bit.  I cover 4 states, but used to cover 5.  I flew a lot, and it became exhausting.  I had a company car.  I had flexibility, and a good deal of it.  In my new position, I don't have to travel (or very minimal), I don't have a company car and I lost my flexibility....but....I finally have some consistency back in my life.  I know when I will be coming and going, and so will my family.  Before, I was home one day, gone the next 3, back for a few hours, gone in the evening, and things could change literally overnight....you get the picture.  Yes, maybe I am crazy, however, it feels right.

Because the company car will be taken from me, we bought a "new" car last week.  We decided on a 2009 Ford Taurus X - a cross between a station wagon and a SUV.  We have 2 children and 2 dogs, so we needed that 3rd row of seating if we ever wanted to take our furry friends with us (2 big dogs).  We took a trip to Rhode Island over Labor Day weekend, and had to bring 2 cars so everybody, and everything, would fit.  So far, we like it, however, I still haven't driven it (its so big!!).

Biskut lost her first tooth in America this week.  We tried to explain the concept of the "tooth fairy" with M & B, but we aren't sure they understood (we also tried to explain the concept of "flipping a coin," and whether or not they grasped that concept is still TBD), but what they did understand was that in the morning, they BOTH had money under their pillows (a big thing for our ET children!!).  Yes, we are still trying to be "fair," especially since Muse lost a tooth the week after we got home and we didn't do anything (are we mean or what?).  He wouldn't have understood, so we are making it up to him now.  Then, 2 days after she lost her "first" tooth, she lost a second tooth.  SUSPECT!!!  I see them trying to wiggle their teeth out now.  Yikes!  We need to stop this madness!!  For the first tooth, Biskut got $5 (Muse $1 -- they only notice that she has one bill and he has one bill),  but for the second, they each only received $1.  We are getting cheap in our old age.  :) 

Biskut is going through a "stage."  A needy one.  At night, she doesn't want to fall asleep unless my arms are wrapped tightly around her (she strategically places my arms).  She puckers up, and asks for "kisses" (of course, I willingly oblige), and if at that second I don't kiss back, she says, "Mommy no kiss-ee Biskut-ee?"  And I say, "Yes, Mommy kiss Biskut-ee.....I looooooove Biskuteee."  She also knows just how to get her way, which is making it hard on Doug and I.   She has become an especially picky eater over the past few months at home.  We made tacos and corn for dinner last night (something that she loved just last week), and she got very upset because she wanted pizza.  Do we give in, or just hold out until she figures out how hungry she is?  How long do we hold out?  Eventually, I caved and gave her the pizza.  For obvious reasons, I would never want her to go to bed hungry.  Its definitely a dilemma and I am curious as to how other families are dealing with similar situations. 

Muse is loving his mommy a little more every day.  He always gave me hugs and kisses, but it was more of a reciprocation than him initiating it.  He is starting to initiate the hugs and kisses with me.  Even he will say, "Mommy, kiss?" and pucker up.  I love seeing the progress, in so many different areas of their lives.

We will be going through yet another adjustment when I go back to work full time.  A wonder if the adjustment will be tougher for mommy?  I think it will be. 

You're Amazing, Just the Way You Are....

We went for a Sunday drive yesterday....radio on, kids happily singing away in their car seats.  Mom and dad enjoying the moment.  Muse is clearly not genetically related to either Doug or I....of course, his skin color is a give-away, but, the kid can dance and carry a tune.  He doesn't know the exact words to the songs, but boy, can he hit the notes, including, "you're amazing, just the way you are."   They are both amazing, every single day, they amaze us. 

We had our 3 month home visit this past week.  Parts of the 3 months feel like a blur; on one hand, I can't believe it has only been 3 months, and on the other, it feels like we have been together a whole lot longer.  Our social worker was "amazed" at how well they are doing, and how obviously attached to Doug and I they both are.  Clearly, Biskut is a "mommy's girl" and Muse is a "daddy's boy," however, they each trust us, and will come to us if hurt or feeling sad.  I will say, Muse is definitely a little boy, in every sense of the word.  "Mommy, no hug Muse!"  "Mommy, no kiss Muse."  "Mommy, no touch Muse."  That's not very nice, Muse :)  Meanwhile, the other day when we were in the car, I told Biskut that I love both she and Muse.  Her response?  "NO!  Mommy's Biskut-ee's and Daddy's Muse's!"  Ahm, wrong again.....

They crack us up and keep us on our toes.  Sometimes, they are ingenious with the things they come up with.  For example, a couple of weeks ago they want to sleep in Muse's room, and share his twin bed.  When I woke them up in the morning (or, when they woke us up), I noticed that they had tucked in about a half dozen small pillows under the fitted sheet around the edge of the bed, to form a bumper so Biskut wouldn't fall out....I mean, how cute is that?  Sometimes they are just darn right hysterical.  My mom had bought Muse a new pair of winter pajamas, so I told him to go put them on.  He went up to his room, and apparently put his bottoms on.  Then I heard, "Mommy, pajamas-ee too big-ee....What is this?"  There he was, standing on the top of the stairs, with his pajama bottoms hanging off his bum.  It was like he was accusing me of trying to pull a fast one on him.  Maybe you had to be there.

I love being a Mom to a little girl.  I seriously thought we were destined to get referred two boys, so I had mentally prepared myself for just that (and thought God forbid we got referred two girls, I wouldn't know what to do with myself).   Biskut and I get to shop together, do our nails, comb each other's hair, and this weekend, I took her to get her ears pierced.  There was an instance a couple of months ago where she found a nail and she showed me what she wanted to do with said nail.  I figured either get it done the right way, or one day, I will find her with a hole in her ear.  She chose the cutest little petite cubic zarconia.....my little girl loves her bling!

This is exactly what I was meant to do.  I never had the desire to give birth, and I always knew that I was meant to adopt.  I am ever so grateful the man I married was open to adoption, especially of children who do not in any way look like either of us.  We are a family.  And I love it.  I keep hinting that I want to do it one more time.  He tells me "no way."  So we'll see....only time will tell.  But for now, I am going to focus on what matters the most to me.