2 + 1 = 3

We did the math, and we are crazy.  All aboard the crazy train....another adoption!  We aren't even a full year home with M & B, and we have started the process for child #3.  This is something I have tried to "coach" Doug into doing since we arrived home...you know, the gentle hints 1-2 times a month.  And every time, his not-so-gentle response went something like "you're crazy, two is enough."  Until March.  Something changed.  I am not sure what exactly changed, but when I threw that gentle reminder his way, he caught it, and didn't throw it back to me.   So, I took the opportunity and ran with it.  I started researching agencies in ways I didn't do before, partly because I wasn't nearly as prepared then as I am today.  I spoke to 4 agencies, and went back and forth a few times with WHFC.  I believe in WHFC and the work that they do...but...this time, they weren't the agency for us.  I spoke to one agency, and although they facilitated birth family meetings, they didn't permit them to be recorded.  When I asked, they told me that it wasn't culturally appropriate.  I didn't buy it.  I have a ton of respect for the WHFC staff in Ethiopia, and if that was the case, there is *no* way they would permit it.  Agency #2 came highly recommended from a family who used WHFC for their first adoptions and then Agency #2 for their third.  I spoke to Agency #2 twice, and at first, I wore my blinders.  When I took them off, I saw 2 huge red flags.  The first was in regards to "lost" referrals and the second had to do with their Yahoo Group membership.  I had requested to become a part of their group when we were investigating agencies...I waited....and waited some more.  When I finally spoke to their U.S. staff, they told me their IT department monitored the group and they didn't permit anyone to be a member until the family was fully enrolled in their program (and we aren't even talking about application and fee here folks).  I ran.  The 3rd agency recommendation came from a family I have a *ton* of respect for.  I interviewed this agency as well, and was intrigued by their process, which was a lot different from any of the other agencies I had spoken with or knew of.  And then there was agency #4.  Right away, we clicked.  I trusted what they were telling me.  Their in-country director and Dr. Tsegaye (WHFC's in-country director) grew up in the same village and are close friends.  As a matter of fact, it sounded like their program was modeled after WHFC's program.  It felt right.  I went back and forth, back and forth, and even re-considered WHFC, but at the end of the day, we chose.....WACAP. 

We considered other programs.  I emailed back and forth with AAI, who works in Ghana.  We even thought about a small South African program.  But, we kept coming back to Ethiopia.  I fell in love with the people of Ethiopia, and the beautiful countryside (how could you not?).  I wanted our children to share that with one another, especially since two of our children are bonded by blood too.  What do M & B think about all of this anyway?  Well, and I quote Muse two months ago, "I don't want NO brother!"  Biskut could take him or leave him.  Two months later, and they are actually excited.  I think they thought that he was coming over the weekend, and they simply needed more time with us.  Even today, Biskut asked when he was coming home. 

We decided to request a boy because they already have a little sister, and she lives close by.  Therefore, a little boy seemed to make the most sense.  Plus, I think Doug will need another boy to play with when Muse gets older....

Our homestudy is pretty much complete.  Soon, our paperwork will be on it's way to USCIS, with an expected wait for approval to be about 2-3 months.  This puts us at late summer, early fall to get on their wait list.  We expect a 10-12 month wait to referral, and then a potentially longer wait for court and Embassy, but we will see how that all turns out over the next several months.  My expectation is 2 years, if its sooner, that is great, but I am not setting myself up for a speedy process. 

I know that right now, there are families all over the country trying to figure out what makes the best sense for their family.  Do they apply to another program and wait for Ethiopia too, do they re-consider Ethiopia and choose a different program all together, or as other families have done, decide that adoption is no longer feasible for their family?  I wish I had an answer, and its probably one more reason for me to think that we are definitely nuts.  But, like I said in another post, if I don't have something to stress about, I just don't feel right...so now....we wait.....again......