If you asked me a month ago, I would have told you that I wasn't sure how I was going to move forward. Actually, I am not sure at that point, I wanted to move forward. But, here we are, nearly 5 weeks after the phone call, and I have survived. I continue to have those moments where it hits me out of the blue, when I catch a glimpse of his beautiful smile on our mantle, or when I start daydreaming about what almost was....
We are moving forward. We know that this is what we want, more than anything. We met with our social worker on Friday morning, and our paperwork along with our updated homestudy is on it's way to the Boston USCIS office. Its a quick update, so we don't expect that it will really take too much time to get the new 171H. We finalized siblings, either gender (we expect to get 2 boys because we aren't specifying, but then again, I could be very surprised), between 2 and 6 years of age. As excited as I was to have an infant, I can't do it again. I know that there is no replacing Tamirat, and bringing home older children works for us. We also talked to our SW about how different it will be for us as compared to other families when we go to Horizon House to pick up our children.
We will be the family who will be grieving while rejoicing.
I kept really busy this weekend. We are finishing up our website (more to come soon) which will honor Tamirat's short life. I bought a picture frame, and put 3 of my favorite Tam pictures in it. I hung it in our main living area. My mom and I went to a "paint your own ceramics" place, so I painted the Ethiopian flag on a plate, which will hang above his pictures. A mini shrine to our first baby.
I have also tried crocheting (don't laugh). If you knew me, you would know that I am not really a girly-girl, but, it is actually quite relaxing to do while watching a little tv. I finished my first blanket tonight. Its no masterpiece, but it will work. Next, I am going to try to make a blanket that will resemble the Ethiopian flag...perfect for our soon-to-be children.
I am excited about our future. I can't wait to see their faces, to know their names, and their story.....but until then.....we wait.....again.....
Accra Time
The Art of French Chic in Children’s Fashion
2 years ago
Amy, I'm glad everything is moving along. You should post a picture of your plate so we can compare! You know, I didn't think about what your trip to Horizon House would be like picking up your two children. I can't imagine how the "grieving while rejoicing" at the same time will feel. *Hugs*
ReplyDelete~Anne
Maybe it will give you some comfort and some closure to go to HH and see how very much Tamirat was loved and cared for there. Good luck moving forward...it sounds like you've arrived at a good place already.
ReplyDeleteHi Amy
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you guys have made it all 'official,' in the coming months we can be "waiting" partners... =) I hope you both are finding comfort in your decision; there's a lot to look forward to.
Best wishes, Meg B-Chicago
by-dirigible.blogspot.com
I can't imagine how hard this has been, but I'm glad to hear you have taken the steps to move forward. And it sounds like you've done some meaningful things to help preserve your memories of Tamirat. Grieving and rejoicing - what a powerful combination that will be.
ReplyDeleteHi honey,
ReplyDeleteThe project you and Doug have chosen to honor Tam while helping other Ethiopian children is wonderful. Working through grief, you've both chosen a positive, healing direction which will be an inspiration to many people. I'm so proud of you.
While "granddog" sitting last night, I looked at your framed pics of Tam and a wave of sadness came over me. I have to believe that he is helping to choose two sibblings that will have the strength to make the long journey to join our family. Our hearts will be open, ready to embrace them, the moment we arrive at HH.
Love, XO XO
Mom
I'm so glad to hear that you are moving forward. The entire journey will be even more powerful for you than it is for many of the rest of us. My best to you.
ReplyDeleteLaura (WHFC, Waiting in CT)