From Ethiopia to Ghana (or BUST)!

It has been a long time coming.  I have written this post 1,000 times in my head.   Over the past 18 months, people have politely asked me how our adoption is coming along!  For anybody who has been throught his arduous process before, you know that sometimes, you just don’t want to talk about it.  It’s a long process.  Chalk full of paperwork and very emotional highs and lows.  Yes folks.  We started this process in March 2011.  There is no way I can capture all of the events over the last 9 months in one post, so this may be the first of at least a few.

I knew from the moment I met my children at the Horizon House, that I wanted to adopt again.  It was a strong pull, and even in the few weeks after coming home, I knew I wanted to do this one more time.  But, I am in a partnership, and my partner wasn’t going to have any of it.  I worked him.  And worked him hard.  Then, one afternoon in March, he told me we should go for it.  I don’t know what changed (maybe it was the promise of a new ATV?  Oh, I don’t know), but something did.  I didn’t waste any time.  If you all recall, March 2011 was the beginning of adoption reform in Ethiopia.  We spoke to 4 agencies that operated in Ethiopia, and 1 agency who operated in both Ethiopia and Ghana.  We considered Ghana.  We thought about Ghana.  We weighed the pros and cons over and over again, and everything kept leading us back to Ethiopia.  It may have something to do with the fact that we had two beautiful children from the most beautiful nation on earth.

We scratched two agencies off the list pretty quickly, and in retrospect, I am so incredibly glad we did.  We narrowed it down to two reputable agencies: WHFC (our first placement agency) and WACAP.   We wanted a smaller program.  WACAP’s ET director and WHFC’s ET director grew up in the same village and knew each other well.  WACAP’s program was modeled after WHFC’s program, and we absolutely LOVED our experience using WHFC in Ethiopia.  So, our choice was pretty obvious.

I am sure there were plenty of adoptive parents who criticized our choice.  I removed myself from many of the adoptive parents FB groups (like Ethiopia Mamas) because I was sick and tired of hearing from “Mamas” that all PAPs waiting in the ET program were contributing to corruption in ET.  That there was NO way an ethical adoption could occur in ET now.  Bullcrap.  That is what I say.  Mamas who said that even a waiting child’s adoption couldn’t possibly be ethical.  Sorry, I didn’t believe it then, and I don’t believe it now.  There are so many children who could benefit from adoption.  So many children who will age out in Southern Ethiopian orphanages, and be left with what?  I think of my own two children.  If our son was not relinquished with his sister, I am quite sure that he would have been a waiting child.  One of many 6-7 year old boys sitting in an orphanage, waiting for a family.  Makes me cringe.  Cry.  My heart hurt.  But that is the reality people.  I don’t want this to be a post about ethics.  About the importance of picking an agency with a strong and long relationship working in Ethiopia.  About using resources available to each and every one of us (the internet and hundreds of families who have been through the process before).  Don’t ignore an agency with lots of negative reviews.  There has to be some truth behind the negativity.  Ask PAPs about agencies with excellent reputations.  Make sure you do your due-dilligence.  Ask questions, and don’t be afraid to walk away. 

We weren’t “waiting” for an infant.  We were waiting for an “older” child (still, I don’t understand how any child age 3 and older are considered “older”?).  Sadly, supply and demand drove corruption in ET.  Adoption costs money.  Money breeds corruption.  Enough said.

What I want to tell you all right now is that we didn’t walk away from Ethiopia.  We love Ethiopia.  But we were pulled.  Pulled by a little girl in Ghana named “Christabel,” listed on rainbowkids as a waiting child.

To be continued….