Our First Meeting

June 18, 2010
One year ago today, we met our sweet M & B for the first time.  We flew into Addis from Dubai, and arrived to some confusion.  Mulat, WHFC's master coordinator, was waiting at the airport for us to arrive, only we didn't know it.  Since we were arriving a day early, we were told that we were responsible to arrange our accommodation and transportation from Bole to the Guest House.  Needless to say, HH was expecting us to stay with them the Friday we arrived.  Once we figured everything out (were were at the Guest House and I had called Mulat asking him to pick us up to bring us to HH), Mulat met us at the Guest House around 1pm to bring us to meet our children for the first time.  First, we stopped at the HH to drop off our luggage and donations (since we were leaving at 6am the following morning to go on our birth family visit).  Then, off to the "big kids" house.  My mom (now fondly referred to as Grammy Susie), Doug and I walked through the gates.  Doug and I went first, and Grammy Susie trailed behind us with the video camera in-hand, apparently (only later) doing a little narration the entire time...

I expected chaos.  Kids running, balls being kicked around, laughing & shouting, but, all was quiet.  Eerily quiet.  It was nap time (kids "nap" following lunch until ~4pm every. single. day. -- there are days now when I wish that they would do the same at home, even if only for 30 minutes!).  Mulat announced our arrival to the nannies, and they quickly stopped what they were doing (probably mopping the floors, hand washing laundry, cleaning the dishes) and entered each of our children's rooms to wake them up from their very peaceful sleep (at this point, M & B had been at the HH for 35 days, so they knew their routine).  Biskut was first....she came out of the room, squinting as her eyes met ours.  She moved towards her shoes and stumbled a bit while trying to put them on before approaching us.  The nanny told her in Amharic that we were her Mommy & Daddy (can you even imagine?).  We crouched down, smiled, and attempted to welcome her with an embrace.  She went to Doug first, then came over to me.  It was a sweet, yet awkward moment.  The only thing we knew we could do is smile, kiss & hug, but we didn't want to scare her.  I put my arms gently around her body.   You could tell, she wasn't sure what to make of us.  I couldn't blame her.   She smiled, sweetly, back at us.  Her hair had grown a bit from her referral picture.  She had cute curly locks.  A soft smile, and eyes that sparkled. 

Next it was Muse's turn.  He had obviously been sound asleep.  Poor little guy.  Discombobulated for sure.  He awoke with a mischievous grin.  He was a handsome boy (who has grown to be more handsome by the minute), with a pot belly.  Not exactly what I had imagined from a physical standpoint.  He had obviously been well-taken care of, and probably didn't miss a meal (Adoptive Parents who met M before we did mentioned that he had an appetite of 2 adults).  He approached us much like B, with hesitation in his step.  But, we quickly made him laugh.  And his laugh came right from his belly!  Oh, and his little raspy voice just melted my heart.  Here was this little boy, with this adorable raspy little voice and belly laugh, with a grin that stretched from Addis to Boston. 

We brought a simple matchbox car to play with (we had loads of toys, but we were in such a rush to get there, we really didn't think about what to bring).  Together we sat on the pavement as a family, for the very first time. ...driving the matchbox up and down their arms and legs....pushing the speeding car, back and forth, back and forth, for what seemed like hours.  Biskut sat on my lap the entire time (nothing has changed!).  We laughed.  We smiled.  We played.  We giggled, and stared at them, amazed that these 2 precious children were our children.  I thought about the 24 hours ahead of us, and the emotional roller coaster we would experience throughout the upcoming week.  We knew that the following day, we wouldn't be seeing them, but instead had a 7 hour drive to meet their birth family.

Their birth family visit was one of the few moments in my life that I will never forget, the moment that I will hang on to, forever.  The moment my children will hang on to.  They have asked several times if we know their birth family.  I know it brings them comfort knowing that their "new" Mommy and Daddy (and Grammy Susie) met, hugged, and spoke to their birth father and sibling.   We are so grateful that we can give our children that very small peace of mind, that we are all connected in a bigger way. 

Six months after being in the U.S. as a family, I asked Biskut if she would like to see pictures of her family from our visit.  She wanted to.  She looked at them, smiled, and said, "You know my Daddy? You know my brother?"  I can say, without hesitation, that I do know them.  I can tell her that I love them.  She didn't have to spend a long time looking at the pictures, and she hasn't asked to see them since.  Its as if that moment brought her the comfort she was looking for.   Now, fast forward 6 more months.  Yesterday, June 17, 2011....exactly 364 days after we first met M & B.  I asked Muse last night if he wanted to see the pictures (I had asked before, and he had very adamantly told me "no," so I never pushed it).  This time, he said that he wanted to see them.  We sat together as I showed him, one by one, and then he took them each in his hand, and didn't say a word.   I spoke softly to him, showing him how we had hugged his Ethiopia daddy.   M processes his life very differently than B does.  B talks, M remains quiet.  M will talk if he doesn't think B is getting the story right.  Even in the car today, I told him that it was okay to be happy, sad, and angry, all at the same time. 

Its amazing to me what the past year has brought us.  It is amazing what this past year has taught us.  Its amazing to me that we were the lucky people chosen to parent our two incredible children.  I can't believe how quickly the year has past us by, yet, I can't imagine what life was really like before they joined our family.  M & B, I am forever grateful for you, and feel so very privileged to be called your Mommy.  XOXOXO